oDesk Offers Health Insurance!

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on June 9, 2010 in Freelance Writing Jobs
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oDesk has decided to make MY life easier as a freelancer by offering me benefits that only an employer would offer--decisions I'd rather make for myself now completely done for me! Finally, no more troublesome thinking! That gives me more mental bandwidth for thinking about things like gadgets and power tools and sports! The whole reason I became a freelancer was so that I could have decisions made for me. I like being lorded over. I used to work for them, and now I am thinking about going back!

That's actually why I was drawn to oDesk in the first place. They put a little unobtrusive program on your computer that snaps pictures of what you're doing at that moment. That way, I was getting paid a fair rate for what I was doing. If I happened to step away from my computer for a moment, I wouldn't get paid for that time! After all, an employer would be foolish to pay an employee for something so frivolous as a bathroom break. That is why I kept a small port-a-john near me at all times while using oDesk. Not that I needed it, though. I am an automaton, and my soulless robot innards do not require excrement management.

The coolest thing is that I produced articles for an employer for $5 a pop! True, I would have been paid $15 an article if I'd typed slower like my other virtual coworkers as that was our hourly rate, and my pages had more hits, but still! The point is that this system works really well, and freelancers ought to be happy with it.

That's why when oDesk announced that it was doing health insurance as well, I thought to myself what a great idea that is! After all, content mills already do health insurance, and people who write for them are the happiest writers on the planet. And that is why I fully support this system!

Right now, you have to work for 30 hours a week minimum for oDesk or you lose health insurance and must qualify for COBRA instead! They're fair, though! You can average 30 hours per week, so that means if you're sick one week (and as an automaton I do not get sick, so this is purely theoretical) that you'd have to work double hard the next week! Not a big deal, really. Who hasn't worked 60 hours a week? I started freelancing just so I could stop enjoying my free time. I had too much of it anyway!

Also it turns out that I would not have qualified at my old rate of payment for health insurance because I had to earn more than my state's minimum wage and $5 an hour apparently would not cut it! But with lucrative gigs on oDesk offering up to $9 an hour, I should be fine! That is a lot of money to make. I could almost afford a sandwich in the Big Apple!

So please join me in congratulating oDesk on its incredible decision to offer health care to its freelancers. Be sure to email them and tell them what you think! I know I sure am gonna! :)

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Clint Osterholz is a freelance writer who thinks he's awfully funny, and is surprisingly not a disappointment to his parents. You're always free to check out his portfolio if you'd like someone to be funny, or maybe write something a little more serious. Subscribe to my posts (only posts from this author).

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6 Comments

  1. Matt Willard June 9, 2010 Reply

    COBRA is the coolest name ever for health insurance.

    • Author
      Clint June 9, 2010 Reply

      I dunno. I’m a fan of Kaiser.

  2. Star June 9, 2010 Reply

    You made me laugh…both you and Matt (above). Thanks! Yeah, you gotta love the spycams, etc. Those little devil freelancers, you can’t be too careful with them.

  3. P.S. Jones June 9, 2010 Reply

    Yeah, I got a really good laugh out of this one :)

  4. Lily Bart June 11, 2010 Reply

    Really, I don’t even know why oDesk pays people. I’d work there for free. I’m grateful that a large, successful company expects me to keep my nose to the grindstone and work hard to achieve a fair wage of $5 an hour. I have no delusions of grandeur about being a writer! Anyone can do it! The fact that they care enough to create robots to watch my every move only tells me how much they care, like a compassionate stalker. And they want to PAY me! What child doesn’t grow up hoping to be paid $5 hour before taxes to write articles at a place like that? Walmart was my second choice, especially so I could work 39 hours a week in order to be denied benefits and destroy my local economy. But oDesk is even BETTER. Sure, there might not be fancy graphics and forums like at Demand, but those Demand “authors” are far too full of themselves. At oDesk I put in a fair day’s work for a fair day’s pay. And I LOVE IT.

    PS – COBRA isn’t really health insurance, though. It’s a government mandated rule for extending your health insurance if you get laid off. And not for the same price you paid for health insurance while being employed. It’s a tad higher. Like sometimes 1k a month higher.

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